sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
