The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
