Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
