some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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