is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
