thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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