As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
