I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
