Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
So here I am, sexting at work.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
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