I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
This toilet bowl is my home.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
