I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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