I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Randomize
