Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
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