You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
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