In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Randomize
