cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
did you just send me my own nude
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
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