I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize
