Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Randomize
