they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
