How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
