She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
home. puking in laundry basket.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Randomize