hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
