my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
