the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
