i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
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