Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
