Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize
