i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
