There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
