I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
my poor anus
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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