I'm drive I can fine osifer
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
