Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
We named our party play list daddy issues
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Holy shit dude........stairs
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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