When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
