Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
You don't make any sense
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