rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Randomize
