New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
