I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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