some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
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