the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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