Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
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