I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
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