two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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