Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
