U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
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