i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Randomize
