the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Bang-toberfest begins!!
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
