i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Randomize
