I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Dick very happy bro
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
