'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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