Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
It's rum buckets o'clock
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
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