I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Randomize
