ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
