There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
