a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Found the puke drawer
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
