I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Randomize
