You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
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