And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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