so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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