WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
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