i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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