Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Randomize
